Uh oh 

The best way to salvage the Sunday morning after a Saturday night of partying hard with your reaction engineering assignment, is to watch anime movies. Coffee asks too much of you sometimes. Cartoons, anime and sitcoms sooth those overthinking muscles and they don’t give you a lot to think about.

Or so I thought.

I was wrong.

Yesterday, I broke into my anime stash and gave my morning to “The Wind Rises.” It’s a beautiful, inspiring story about a young Japanese engineer who lived during WWII and dedicated his life to making the perfect airplane. Now we know who designed all those planes that went to pearl harbor. It was this adorable man called Jiro Horikoshi. He falls in love too and the story just gets in there. Manga love is just so adorable and I don’t want to spoil it but…. oh, just watch it. Trust me.

Jiro is an ambitious man. So by definition, he’s a little crazy. He sees his hero, this Italian airplane designer, in his dreams and this man gives him advice and stuff. In one scene, he tells Jiro that he’s resigning from air planes. 

 “…Artists are only creative for ten years. We engineers are no different. Live your ten years well.” 

Just like that, Sunday was ruined again.

I don’t know that I am an artist. But I would like to be and if I have been trying for the past decade and nothing happened so far, it means that nothing will probably happen after this. If I become an engineer, I will not be a very good one either. Do not use anything I might make as a chemical engineer. You will die. I don’t need ten years to fuck that up.

I wonder if one day I’m going to wake up and be blocked forever.

Trying to be a writer is heavy. It looks easy. It’s not. 

I could be a terrible writer to a point where literally every word I put on paper makes everyone cringe. I would still be a writer though. Just not a very good one. That works for me.  My response to compliments like, “hey you write good,” is, “I don’t but that’s okay. I’ll get better.”

But if my ten years are up, I will not get better. I should have lived my ten years well.



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